Don’t Let Other People’s Judgment Define Your Life
During the second year of my MBA at Wharton, I approached one of the top finance professors for advice. I told him I wanted to land a role at a private equity fund. After hearing my background—most notably my prior experience as a police officer—he didn’t hesitate.
He looked me in the eye and said, “With your background, it will be very difficult.”
I walked away from that conversation feeling discouraged. I already had an offer from McKinsey at the time, so I took it and moved on. That decision turned out to be a great one in many ways. But looking back, I think the professor was wrong.
In fact, just a year into McKinsey, during one of the worst recessions, a private equity fund offered me a position. Ironically, when I had asked for the professor’s advice, the economy was thriving. If I had knocked on more doors back then—if I had believed in myself more—I might have gotten into private equity even sooner.
But this story isn’t really about career choices or job offers. It’s about something deeper: how easily we let other people’s opinions shape our decisions.
My professor wasn’t a bad guy. On the contrary, he was one of the brightest minds at Wharton. He meant well, and his advice came from a place of logic, not malice. But even the smartest people can fall back on conventional wisdom.
And here’s the thing about conventional wisdom—it’s not always right or wrong. It’s just the average opinion, shaped by what usually happens, not by what can happen.
That moment was the only time I let someone else define what I could or couldn’t do. And I learned from it.
This isn’t to say we should ignore advice or become blind to reality. We need mentors. We need perspective. But we must also remember: no one else knows what you’re truly capable of—not even the most accomplished experts.
When it comes to making major life decisions, be open-minded, be grounded, be realistic—but don’t let someone else’s perception become your personal truth.
It’s your life. Own it. Take the risk. Bite the bullet.
Because at the end of the day, we can’t outsource our dreams to others.
About the Author
